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Today
August 11, 2015

Well, Hello Self!
Admittedly, I’ve taken such a long vacation from this website! Oops!
I’m a bit embarrassed to say, but, in all this time, was I not motivated to write or did I know there was just nothing to say. Writing for me has always been my way to navigate this life. It’s the time when my mind is fully engaged within and removed from any outside influence. There’s a serenity which presents itself to me in parallels – an incredible beauty that is powerful enough to remove any obstacles from the journey into the depths of my soul and once again, unleash the beast!. Beauty and the Beast then!
Still, I’m always amazed as to how and when the song finds me. I know it instantly. It’s a recognition – an intimate hello that taps me on the shoulder and immediately overshadows all the ridiculousness in my life and starts to re-align everything I know to be true.
And when that movement occurs, the flood gates release and I find myself breathing in and out with ease and grace. Fully engaged, recharged, and loaded… first destroying, then rebuilding, my heart.
And this has been my experience today.
Here’s a first glimpse of the song. I will post when the recording is out.

Thank you Ali, for these beautiful lyrics and a melody that tears my heart in two!
P.S. That’s a good tear by the way!

I am leaving on a journey today
packing up this soul and this skin
there are things I’ve been meaning to change
don’t think I can without going

And I will climb, climb, climb the highest hill
til I’m face to face with the sun
My eyes will see their burning reflection
oh oh oh
I’m coming undone.

Leave a trail of sorrow and shame
and all of the hurts I’ve held onto
they are much too heavy a weight
to bring all the places I want to

And I will climb, climb, climb the highest hill
til I’m face to face with the sun
My eyes will see their burning reflection
mmmmmmmm
I’m coming undone.

And when I come back down
I’ll be the girl you loved and more
my feet meet the ground
more certain then ever before

And I will climb, climb, climb the highest hill
til I’m face to face with the sun
My eyes will see their burning reflection
oh oh oh
I’m coming undone.

So I’m leaving on a journey today
packing up all my memories and years
I’ve got things I’ve been meaning to say
in a voice unshackled by fears.

Highest Hill
Ali Sperry
copyright Aug. 10, 2015
Seasac
Greeno Publishing
Pashyamusic

Last summer as I was doing an intensive TM teacher re-certification course, my dear friend Sherry decided it was time for her to step beyond the relative and slip into the sublime. It’s taken me all this time to write about this, but that is usually my way.
I realize how fortunate I was to be in Fairfield last summer – truly another well orchestrated, nothing is by chance moment.
Once there, I was juggling the course and trying to see her most days. My buddy, Harriet and I were stretching to the max. Our other closest friends just happened to be leading the course. That alone was amazing…4 of Shri’s very best friends on this whole planet where in the same place, doing the same thing, at the same time. Shri had been on my case for so long to do this course but I had to wait for a time when I knew my Mom would be okay without me. My window came and little did I realize how all this was truly Shri’s intuition and organizing power on overload.

Guru Purnima that summer was another significant milestone. I had gone to see her a few days before and as usual she was orchestrating not only my life but also my wardrobe. She always remembered how Maharishi had liked me to be in very sparkly colours to bring on the light and how once, after watching back a video we had made, looked at me and told me to wear more “rosaries”. Hah..tell a woman to wear more jewelry…wow…lucky me!
So Shri loved to pick from her sari’s and have me wear them. They were so much more beautiful then any of mine, except for the ones she had already given me as gifts of course. So we chose a few and then, and this was a first, she sent me to get her jewelry boxes and asked me to wear her over-the top – gold necklaces and earrings. It was such a tender moment, that I cannot fully do her service here in the writing of it. I always knew, she would have given me the world if she could. Her heart was full of generosity and love as she took on so many people and looked after all of us with such goodness and compassion. Sighhhhhh

I need to digress here for a moment and set the parameters and complexity of our sisterhood. Many years ago, I had come to Fairfield with Ali when our lives took a significant turn. She and Bob and Carol, especially, held my hand in those very first uncertain days before the move. Then Harriet, Warren and Janet were there waiting for me in Fairfield making sure the transition was smooth. Very delicate time – that one but I was well served and very grateful. Amazingly enough, Shri moved to Fairfield a relatively short time after me and literally for exactly the same set of circumstances as my own! So now, I was a few steps ahead and she actually let me lead for a bit…very temporarily, if you knew her! What is so incredible to me as I look back is here we all were together again in the same place…best friends forever…true blue…over and over the same. What followed was a lot of great years of sharing our lives and that of our kids. ( Ohhh just remembered.. we also had the same mid-wife and our kids were born in the same building in Great NecK! hah!)

So now back to the reality of last summer…the day she stretched her wings and took flight.
Being there for that most intimate moment is the ultimate illusive gift that I can never say thank you for.
When you are a silent witness to something so personal and sacred it is beyond my beyonds…
To be there when the breath becomes so subtle that it seems not even God can hear the stillness, was intense and magical.

Solemn yet sweet, you are there, at the very moment when the eyes of God and the eyes of a very grateful, humble and devoted Shri meet.
In that moment as the rush of all that you know to be true is exchanged between her heart and the heart of the Divine,
the picture of her embracing the essence of everything she believed in her whole heart, and
the final element of letting go and falling so deeply into magnificence and grace, falls beyond the imagination.

I made my peace with her before she left. It was another gift. I was with her and Samantha. Curtis had said as he opened the door to her room, I think that you should say your goodbyes. I remember not wanting to disturb her so I just sat next to her and held her hand. I whispered a few things but nothing significant. I wanted Samantha to have all the moments she needed for herself while she sat holding her Mom’s other hand.
I got up to leave and as I was letting go of Shri’s hand, Samantha looked at me and basically, what I heard her say was, that’s it?( whatever she said exactly was more like…you don’t have to go…stay..talk to her..it’s ok ) but I was hearing Shri, as always, calling me out – “That’s it Reen? ”
And with that, Samantha gave me her gift, as in that moment she was the embodiment of her Mom.
So I stayed and it all was finished by the time I walked from her room.

We have shared a lot of moments in this life….like every birthday for many many years.
She was though the one friend I would have to wait for my moments with, watching for the windows, following the steps on being the best friend possible, and say my piece when it was easiest for her to listen. She was quite a force to be reckoned with as we all know with a huge smile.

But here, in those few days, I said it all and we were complete and finished for now.
And She is the one I know will be waiting for all of us when we meet again.
What a blast it will be to play around on all the lokas, in our sameness, and shine brighter than any star in the night sky as we continue the journey…together…all of us..for time eternal.

Love from me to Shri

My whole Life
September 27, 2012

I’ve been waiting for you my whole life
feeling you were always there in the shadows
and in the light
you are what I remember seeing
as you go from space to space
in another dimension ..time or place
but still the one I know
steadfast and full of grace.

Do you hear me calling
in the midst of the chaos and the storms?
When are you coming back again
to give me strength and lift my spirits
enough to leave all this meanness behind?

We can no longer do this alone.

Am I hearing your voice then,
steadily, but oh so quietly
slipping through the darkness and the noise
and the lies that pass as truth these days?

You are all the good that I know belongs
The bestower of the best and the mighty
the face of God
the lending hand
the drop of rain that quenches every lip
the bottomless well of wisdom,
that encourages me to stay strong
on a battleground I do not remember choosing
but one I will not waver to defend

You are a magnificent gift
because I know you,
because I know of you
and feel you in every part of this world

Yet impatiently I wait to see you everywhere
to catch a glimpse of you behind me
or race ahead to catch up to you
til step by step, moving the same
I turn to look upon your face
and speak the truth that’s been buried in my heart

And it’s in that very moment that I will have nothing to say

in one glance, in one look
it is done, it is finished
and forever imprinted on my soul

Now, resting in your heart
I hear only the sweet voice of your compassion and your love
Now, resting in your heart
I hear only the sweet voice of your compassion and your love.

So today was a pretty amazing day for me. Thanks to Shawn O’Sullivan, I received my sati sat ring in the mail yesterday. I was told to be sure to give $11 to a charity and start wearing it on Sat. Ok…so my intention today was all about service and doing puja and getting white roses and finding that charity…and also being grateful with a bring it on, let thy will be done attitude. It was the perfect day as it stormed and flooded continuously. On my way to fresh market for the roses and organic fruits, I saw this street lady who walks everywhere in the Grove. She is very hunched over and wheels her cart full of stuff everywhere…my friend Jeannine said she’s been doing that here forever. I decided after I turned into the market that I would look for her when I left. The rain had mostly stopped on my way in but by the time I came out it was pouring again. I had bought her some bread and cheese and had my $11 ready. Then I went searching. I drove all thru the Grove and then back again. I just kept having the intention to find her. Then I saw her under a deserted bldg. by the water. I figured out how to drive over to her just as she was starting to move on again. I called to her…excuse me ma’am, I have something for you. She came over to my car and I gave her the food and the $ and then another $20… It seemed so small to me.. But here’s the amazing part. She looked right at me with crystal clear eyes and graciously but matter of factly said thank you. I looked at her and folded my hands in namaste form and smiled. She went on her way and I drove out in a different direction and melted into a puddle of tears…not of sorrow but from the incredible blessing I had just received.

Tonight I am supposed to be working on a project and all I can do is think of our old friends, Charlie and Nancy. Charlie, very unexpectedly, left the planet last night with his wife and best bud, Nancy, I am told, right by his side.

Charlie was a lighthouse – an over-the-top beam of light. His presence was full, and fun and strong. His zest for life, sports, especially baseball, and friends was amazingly balanced with his devotion to his meditation program and choosing to walk this life on the path to enlightenment.

I first met Charlie and Nancy in D.C. in 1983 soon after Ali was born. Daniel and Charlie were buddies and worked together and Nancy, from day one was a Long Island girl soul-sister.

Ah, Nancy..a most amazing soul, truly an angel on earth, so deep and lovely and ever-presently connected to God. We had great times…always loving, sweet times. Nancy and I talked a lot about the spiritual and God’s presence on earth. Years later, we both came to live in Fairfield, so it continues…

Tonight, my arms reach out and around Nancy . She has always been so loving, so giving, so up-lifting and divine, like a delicate flower, gracing us with the most beautiful glimpse into the look and scent of God’s garden on this earth. I am sure I am just one of many right now, standing beside her, just trying to surround her with even a fraction of the light and love she has given to us. But, nonetheless, we, all her friends, from all these years, from all these locations, stand strong and offer only love and support.

I remember seeing Charlie one of the last times I was in town and inviting him to come down and visit us in Jupiter, especially during Spring Training, so Barry could take him to some games and introduce him to some of his players. He was planning on trying to come . Now, instead, he is always welcome in my heart..his smile and vibrancy will forever bring a smile to my face and a lift to my spirit.

I honor him. I am ever so grateful to know him. There is no doubt, we will all find each other again and it will only be better and better.

Jai Guru Dev

Lyrics
January 20, 2011

Hi — Thanks to my dear and faithful friend, Phyllis, I finally have all the lyrics to the songs on this CD in one document that you can download and print! YAY!!!  Now, you can sing along any time. I am so happy to be able to give this to you. I always find when I am singing any Sanskrit phrases, it’s important I know the translation when choosing them, but once I have arrived with everything in place, I pretty much let go and just feel the meaning in the sound. I love the way that sound rolls in the space around me and feel so fortunate to sing phrases with such gorgeous depth of simple truth for all man and womankind! I look forward to hearing you singing with me in my heart! I will be able to focus on some new music soon. I am excited. Love to all!

Click here –>  Lyrics

Grateful
July 26, 2010

Always around the Guru Purnima full moon, I am flooded with emotions of gratitude for the the gift of life I have received. Knowledge and experience moving as one always brings the rich textures of the essence of my being to my heart and allows me to breathe deeply in this peaceful  space and time. I am so blessed to have stood still long enough, at a rather young age, to hear all the beautiful talks of my Teacher, Maharishiji, filled with the ancient verses of the Veda and lead by the experience of floating transcendence. And I am grateful.

This song rolled out from my heart in 1973 and it is my expression of gratitude still  KEEPER OF THE KEYS

REACHING OUT, STRETCHING  THRU THE MOUNTAINTOPS

CLOSE YOUR EYES AND HEAR THE SOUND,

ALL THE SOUNDS…

THE RIPPLE OF THE WATER,

THE CRY OF THE LARK

THE CHIRP OF THE ROBIN

THE SMELL OF THE JASMINE, THE GARDENIAS, THE FRANGIPANI AND TUBE ROSE.

TOUCH YOUR FACE AND FEEL THE WIND SLIP BETWEEN YOUR FINGERS AND YOUR SKIN.

ACKNOWLEDGE THE TEAR RUNNING DOWN YOUR CHEEK

AS THE CHORD OF YOUR FAVORITE SONG GOES DRIFTING BY.

WELCOME THE UNKNOWN, JUST SLIGHTLY OUT OF REACH, MEMORIES,

AS THEY FLOOD YOUR SENSES AND CONSUME YOUR MELTING HEART.

STRETCH YOUR ARMS OUT WIDE

AND CATCH THE SCENT OF YOUR  FRIEND COMING DOWN THE ROAD.

SURRENDER TO THE MOTION BEHIND THE  MOVEMENT

THAT SITS WITHIN  THE SOUL OF YOUR EYES

AND THE HUG THAT LETS YOU KNOW YOU ARE SAFE AND PROTECTED

AND THE LIGHT FLASH THE ANGELS SEND TO LIGHTEN UP THE NIGHT.

STAND ON TIP TOES AND ENGAGE THE DEW GATHERING ON THE LEAVES

LET THE COLOURS OF THE EARTH CLIMB INSDIE AND SPEAK TO YOU

THEN TAKE ONE MORE FLIGHT ACROSS THE SEVEN OCEANS

FEEL THEM RISE AND FALL AND SWELL AND THE MAJESTY OF THE POURING RAIN

THAT GETS SWALLOWED UP AS SOON AS IT TIPS THE WATERLINE.

THEN SMILE AT THE ARRIVAL OF THE DEVAS

BOUNCING THEIR TINY BUBBLES OF RADIANCE  OVER THE WATER TOP.

CATCH THE LAST RAY OF THE SUN

AND BREATHE,

REST

AND LET TIME STAND STILL.

And so..this is my day today…

Facebook Photos
July 11, 2010

The thing w/ these old photos is the magic and feeling that comes flooding  into my heart when I see them again. Same when I see all my friends’ photos – it reminds me of how we were and what has carried us to this point. So many  are filled with joy and gratefulness that I would rather be uplifted by the smiles and obvious displays of pure innocent love from special moments in our lives then put my attention on what I cannot change or fix! We know change comes from w/in and the silent, unbounded, indescribable Divine world w/in is ours to share and forever uphold. As the love of my Guruji is pouring from my heart today, all there is to say is,  Jai Guru Dev!

Posting a new short video soon.dedicated to Mandy and my dear friends the Marko’s!..It’s a great day, and I sing:

Anandaddheyva khalwimani bhutani jayante

anandena jantani jivanti

anandam pryantyy abhisamwishanti.

Out of bliss, these beings are born

In bliss they are sustained

And to bliss they go and merge again.

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